Entry for 25 February 2007 - Trust

I'm not sure if i've mentioned in my previous entries that i have a boyfriend. He and i have been together for a little over 18 months. This weekend he is away at a bucks weekend away in a completely different state. I'm not going to picture our relationship as perfect because its anywhere near. We have our ups and downs like most couples. But at the end of the day we are pretty strong.

I was worried about how i would be this weekend without him; would stupid little things be swimming in my head all weekend that i will be a mess. Lack of sleep and with my very active imagination i was thinking by the time he catches his flight home on sunday night i would have thought that he will be bringing his new girlfriend home... And they will be engaged or something like that. (Leave me with my thoughts and anything could pretty much happen). Anyway he weekend has come and guess what i'm actually ok. If anything i've had a great weekend getting back to being me and doing what ever i want. I knew that he was going to strippers on the saturday night. But still i slept like a baby.

Now the whole point of the story is that i actually trust my boyfriend and am actually pretty confident that he and i are ok even after have been fighting most of the week before he went away. It was nice to spend some time on my own. It was nice just to have a little space. And at the end of all that i forgot what i used to be like before i meet him.

With my previous boyfriends i don't think i was ever really ok if they went away for a weekend. Always at the back of my mind would be what if he cheats on me. I don't want them to leave me... Blah Blah Blah and the story goes on.
But if anything at the end of this weekend - I'm sitting in my lounge room on a sunday afternoon wondering if i'm ok. Or is it just that i've got more mature. Or is it that the relationship that i'm in right now is a lot healthier then my previous ones. I feel like because i'm not stressing about our relationship something might be a little wrong with me. And it makes me question do i care enough about my lover that i'm not worrying. Its actually a really strange feeling - and all i can think about is that i trust him enough to not question about his boys weekend away. I hope many of you out their are in the same type of relationship.