Spinning

My life is full of funny little things at the moment - I have a boyfriend that is 29 and that keeps going out and gambling. For the second time this month I've had to take home and make his mother deal with it - I've been dealing with this for so long and now I'm unsure of what to do. How do I do this - I'm scared that if he does keep doing it then I'm going to be dragged down with him as well. How do you know what to do - how do you know what the right thing to do is.

I bumped into my ex last night - he was with his new flower of a girlfriend... It was strange that I didn't feel anything for him - I'm unsure if he seen me or anything. It was just passing by - no words exchanged or anythingn like that... It had been the first time I've seen him in around 12 months. Strange to be honest.

Work is crap - I feel home sick from my family... and all of a sudden I feel like my worlds a little out of control. Anyway a gambling boyfriend, a witch storming up a few troubles at work - and all I feel like doing is hiding away.

The Gambling Issue

It happened again - but this time when I seen it it was worse than ever before. Every time I see it, its different and never the same. Maybe I just want to close my eyes and not see what is really going on. He gambled again, my lover. It was worse than anything I had seen because we were out having a few drinks after dinner with a girlfriend of mine from work. He was gone for about 45 minutes - maybe a little less. When I went upstairs to see him - he was doing it. He has issues with this - and I'm not sure how to help any more. Or if this is what I want in a partner. He pushed me away and said such horrible things - it wasn't until I pushed him in the taxi and he had 5 minutes to think about what he was doing that he started to break down and realise that he has really messed up. For once I actually called his bluff and worked up the courage to tell his parents. He's heading back to counciling as of tomorrow. But what abotu me? I know that this isn't all about me; but what should I do when he does this? I feel pushed away and I don't know how I can help and what I should be thinking.

Apart from all this I still love him. My love for him probably gets stronger because I know that he has faults and I know that I'm not perfect either. At the end of the day I always think that I can help him with this - but I can't and he needs to get it professionally.

Can love over come everything - or am I young and just dumb in all this and need to get out now while I still can. I'm not sure if any other girlfriends are out there and have to deal with this - or if they are as forgiving. Why do i still love him after all this??? I just can't work it out any more.

The Sopranos

This is my favorite show of all time - I've been following ever since the show came out. This is the last season - and it all wrappes up. I have a lot of history with this show. Strange to think that of a TV program but its true.
When I was with my ex boyfriend he and I went though a pretty rough patch (hence why he's my ex) - we ended up going through this thing where when I was over at his house he used to ignore me - I put up with it for such a long time - I'm going to say a good 6 months or something. Anyway while I was over; I ended up watching The Sopranos while he would pretty much ignore me. Firstly this was the way that I ended up enjoying the show so much.

Also my dad used to buy me a set every Christmas - then after Lunch I would just go and lay in bed and watch some episodes.

I love it... And its sad that this is the final season.